“A friend is the hope of the heart,” Ralph Waldo Emerson so eloquently said. And the hope in the hearts of the fourth grade students of their teacher, Colleen Buchauer, was that she would know that they would love her forever. Love and hope went hand in hand in their lives and are naturally deep-rooted human needs. The symbol of their special love for Colleen came in the form of hats….simple, white painter’s hats. They were the symbol of love and empathy for Colleen as she gallantly fought breast cancer.

Colleen was diagnosed with a rare form of inflammatory breast cancer. It can be overlooked because the initial change to the body is in not in the typical form of a lump. Swelling and a rash are indicative of this type of cancer.

I once interviewed Colleen for my newspaper column. She had expressed that the elementary  school where she taught was “the most wonderful, loving school. I am so blessed to have their support. I love my job. It is a dream job and I have a dream class. It is one of the things that have saved me! Being here makes me feel better!” On the days that followed her chemotherapy treatments, volunteers came in to teach her class, including retired teachers who had previously taught there. Colleen is pleased that in spite of her illness, the level of her instruction and education never wavered…thanks to her cherished friends.

Colleen’s initial words to me were, “This story really should not be about me. It should be about the children, the teachers and their support.” The teachers at the school where she taught were trying to find a way to show their love and support for Colleen. Two of the teachers said they would save their heads, but as appreciative as she was, Colleen said that really was not necessary. They came up with an even better all-inclusive plan. The teachers, as well as the fourth grade students, decided to wear hats to show their support. They were designed, painted and personalized by the children in any way they wished. Because their school had a uniform policy, they had to go before the School Improvement Team to get permission to wear the hats on school property. The hats were readily approved and the plan was executed. First Union Bank donated the hats for the cause. Some of the brightly decorated hats said such things as, “Go Mrs. Buchauer!” or “We Love You, Mrs. Buchauer!” It is a daily constant reminder to Colleen that she is cherished by her devoted friends and students. They have made every effort to let Colleen know that she is not alone.

Every Friday a different grade sent meals for her family. Her students, as well as, her previous classes continued to reach out to her. One particularly touching incident came from a past student of Colleen’s who was an eighth grader at another school at the time. When hearing of Colleen’s illness, she wanted her to know that she was thinking of her. She had her mother drop her off at school before going to her own school early one morning. She presented Colleen with a beautiful red hat; however, the even greater gift was the love and the effort behind the loving gesture. It brought tears to Colleen’s eyes as she spoke of it. Obviously, Colleen had made a permanent imprint on this girl’s heart and soul, as well as, countless others who appreciated her as an excellent teacher and friend.

With heaping portions of pure grit, gumption, an undeniable positive attitude, and the power of prayer, she felt her disease could be conquered. She said, “I’m pretty stubborn and I’m going to beat this. I refuse to accept any other outcome.” It was inspiring to listen to Colleen speak of her serious illness, yet at the same time having a look of peaceful joy on her face as she laughed and smiled throughout our talk. She said, “I feel like I’m on a journey. It is one that I did not choose, but it has been chosen for me. My attitude on life has changed. We tend to get so caught up in our busy lives we take feeling good for granted. I know to be grateful when I have a day when I just feel good. And that’s enough.”

Colleen died in the spring of 2005. Her beautiful spirit lives on in the lives of the ones she touched so deeply along the way. So, as you go about your days, remind yourself of Colleen’s valiant fight, Work towards patterning your days with an ingrained positive attitude and strong inner well-being.

Let’s talk hygiene. Spain’s Queen Isabella (1451-1504) only had two baths in her life—at birth and before her marriage. Correction:  Let’s talk atrocious hygiene!! According to British history, the English did not like to take baths during this time period. They apparently preferred using perfumes to get rid of body odor instead. It seems that taking a bath was an uncommon occurrence. It was viewed as an indulgence– a predecessor to sin.

The Palace of Versailles does not even have a bathroom inside its decadent façade. Throughout European and U.S. generations there were great periods where personal hygiene was considered inconvenient, out of style or restricted for religious reasons. Many of the “unbathed” were saints and monarchs. The discouraging of cleanliness was in reaction to the decadence in the Roman baths. In the 6^th century, Saint Benedict said, “To those that are well, and especially to the young, bathing shall seldom be permitted.” Saint Francis of Assisi thought that an unwashed body showed devoutness. The early church considered a clean body to be associated with materialism and lavishness. In addition, however, it was believed that dirt protected people from germs that caused the plagues that had killed masses in England and Europe. Body odor was considered a form of a magnet for attraction. Perfumes, wigs, cosmetics, powders and the layering of clothes hid the actual dirt.

The first monk to become pope finally allowed baths on Sunday, as long as they never became a “time-wasting luxury.” There is proof that would indicate that there were 5,000 year old bathing facilities. Archeologists even found a soaplike substance in clay jars that had a Babylonian origin from 2800 B.C.

The Greeks enjoyed cleanliness; however, they didn’t use soap. Instead, they “lathered up” with oil and ashes that had been brushed with blocks of sand or pumice. To add to the purity, they used a curved metal instrument called a “strigil” for scraping purposes. They then immersed themselves in the water and were anointed with olive oil. It was seen as a form of ritual purification. Soon, most of Rome pampered themselves with indulgent baths. By the 4^th century A.D., the city had eleven huge and elegant bathhouses. There were more than 1350 public fountains and hundreds of private baths. Rome’s per-capita water consumption each day averaged three hundred gallons. That is approximately the equivalent to what one American family of four uses today.

The Roman baths typically opened in the middle of the day, as the sportsmen were winding up their games. They had quite a methodical routine that started with the bather entering the “tepidarium,” which was a mildly warm room meant for sweating and “chilling out.” They then entered the hotter room, the calidarium,” for even more sweating and then proceeded to the mega-hot “laconium.” They would then soak themselves with large amounts of water followed by the scraping with the strigil, sponging down and anointing. The Romans wound down the event by dipping into the cool “frigitarium.” It would seem that Rome’s fascination with the bathing process could, perhaps, be the reason for its demise.

By the 16^th century, awareness developed about the natural benefits of water as a curing agent for all kinds of illnesses. They realized that bathing in heated water became a remedy for joint and skin disorders.

Okay, let’s advance to the American bathing practices. Soap did not enter the scene until the 17^th or 18^th century. Because it was so heavily taxed pioneer families had to make their own soft lye soap; however, it was so strong it could burn the skin and eyes.

Not surprisingly, Benjamin Franklin was the first person to have a bathtub shipped to America from France in the 18^th century. It was made of sheet copper and shaped like a shoe. Hmm…I wonder if while relaxing in his tub is when he came up with his best inventions– bifocals, odometer, and on and on.  The power of a relaxed mind can do great things.  Too bad Queen Isabella didn’t know that.

All I can say is, “Calgon take me away…”

I have come to the inherent conclusion that the term “MARCH MADNESS” goes far beyond that month in particular. We are all aware that it actually drenches ALL the months where sports are being played. The natural obsessive compulsive support of our favorite sports teams is a prime example of an all-encompassing loyalty at its finest. It is a love that encapsulates our emotions, as we root in anticipation of a hopeful win for our team of choice.

The height of the excitement of the basketball fever that does go along with MARCH MADNESS became all too clear to me a few years ago when Duke was playing Baylor. Now let me preface this part by saying that my mother is a dedicated Duke graduate. She, therefore, has thoroughly enjoyed following “her” Blue Devils’ basketball and football seasons for many years.

I learned a long time ago to never even think of calling her during a Duke game. I, however, broke my rule on this night in March, as Duke battled Baylor in a national championship game. On that particular night, our area was in the throes of severe weather that included a possible tornado. Because of the scary forecast, I wanted to check on my mother, but I knew she would be immersed in the game. I figured that her safety far outweighed the game…or at least I thought.??

I hesitantly placed the phone call. My mother answered the phone in a tirade over the fact that the meteorologist had taken over the screen for way too long and was interrupting “HER GAME!” I said, “But Mama, she is just trying to keep you safe.” My mother’s quick retort was, “But she’s been haranguing for 20 minutes about “rotations” and “upper and lower levels.” Why doesn’t  she just say, “Don’t go on highway so- and- so or go to the basement if you live in the western half of the city?” Then she should shrink down into the corner of the screen and let the game take over the larger part!” Isn’t  Duke lucky to have such a dyed-in-the-wool devoted alumnae?

I have heard other interesting stories of team loyalty to pass along. One friend recalled the night when Carolina was playing Michigan State in the NCAA several years ago. There were high school kids enjoying the game in their basement. When the power went out, they all panicked, but then came up with a plan. They decided to use the light from their cell phones to help them navigate their way out of the basement and into their cars. They then had a caravan jaunt to a friend’s house to finish watching the game…ahh…beautiful devotion at its finest.

I have a friend whose husband and son are devout Tar Heel fans. They prefer to watch the games by themselves in order to avoid distraction, so as to drink in every detail. If Carolina is having a bad game, they have been known to feel the need to walk around the block just to get away. They were staying in a hotel once when this type of game scenario occurred. Her husband walked out in the pouring rain to deal with the game strife. Her son hunkered down in the hall of the hotel to fight the concern of a possible loss.

Needless to say, I will make certain that my mother and this father and son team are never, ever, ever in the same room watching a Duke/Carolina game together…especially if a tornado is whirling its way towards them while a meteorologist is hogging the screen. Now that would be a true example of MARCH MADNESS at its finest!!!

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English is spoken by approximately 309 million people. Mandarin Chinese is the number one spoken language with 873 million who speak it. We, as humans, do seem to have a way of confounding our language with our trendy jargon and peculiar speech nuances. Our kind of present day communication would leave Shakespeare befuddled, I’m sure.

We tend to crucify the King’s English in our modern society with our use or misuse of certain words, along with their innuendos.   We all have our own distinct presentation, tone, and voice inflection as we attempt at conveying messages to others. We do tend to waste our breath by using unnecessary words tacked onto our sentences. “If you will,”…means exactly what? If you will let me finish? If you will try to understand me? If you believe me? Some words that we insert in our sentences are unnecessary and have no real definition. What does the word “really” really mean? The word “very” has the same unnecessary connotation. It’s “very” unnecessary…I mean…really?…think about it. We also tend to combine mannerisms in our attempt to communicate. I, however, do think that Shakespeare would have approved of the cool “air quotes” with a cool “thumbs-up!”

We are all artful at manipulating our language to adhere to our own style. When my son was young, he used to walk in the kitchen and say, “What do we have for eat?” It became “our term” in referring to what was being served and available in the refrigerator and pantry to satisfy his eating desires. He is a college graduate now, but I still use the phrase with him in a kidding fashion with a smile on my heart.

I suppose, in our complicated English language, there is, however, one simple sentence that is wholeheartedly understood. (I’m certain Shakespeare would have agreed.) One can never go wrong when using the beautiful words, “I love you.” It carries one a long, long, way to make the heart and soul smile with no room for misinterpretation. If you know what I mean…I mean, you know…really!…if you will!

Personalized copies of my books may be ordered by scrolling to the top of the page and clicking on the link or email me at hunterdarden@gmail.com.

Sometimes all it takes are a few “word crumbs” to make us observant and take notice…and help us to smile. I have been doing book signings for the past 17 years in a variety of indoor and outdoor settings.  As I sit “peddling my wares,” I have become an eyewitness to the interesting natures of humans. I have thoroughly enjoyed meeting fascinating people and observing others. One summer, as I sat outside a shop in Blowing Rock, signing books, I noticed so many people wearing shirts with interesting words. I finally took out a note pad to write down the entertaining words I was reading. It gave me a great insight to their interesting natures…along with being a “feast of the mind.” The first one of which I made note was an overweight man with a shirt that said, “My working out is just not working out!” After the second one which was, “I’d trade my wife for a tractor,” I grabbed my pen. The rest followed in this order:

* Life is uncertain. Eat your dessert first.

* This is the shirt I wear when I don’t care.

* Women who behave rarely make history.

* I’d stop eating chocolate, but I’m no quitter.

*If you can see this shirt, the old lady fell off.(on a motorcyclist’s shirt)

* Save the planet….duct tape won’t fix everything

* Save the planet…it’s the only one with video games.

* Stick around. I need someone to blame.

I recall a time period when I was a semi-mature (?) adult and my mother simply stated two words that were all I needed to carry me. I went to Atlanta on a business trip for a week. (a whole week!) I reverted back to the most infantile of behaviors, acting like a homesick kid at camp away from the comfort of home.

The actual moment my lust for home began was following a phone call from my son the first night I was away. He called to tell me the great news that he had been accepted into the college of his choice. I could not believe I was so far away and unable to celebrate this once-in-a-lifetime event with him. (Did I mention I was to be there for a whole week?)

I spoke to my mother on the phone during this period of longing in hopes of gathering necessary relief. I could tell she was searching for just the right words to comfort her all grown up baby daughter. Disappointingly, she did not say, “Don’t worry, honey. You’ll be home soon.” No…instead she emphatically said, “Buck up!” My defensive retort was, “But it only means that I really like my life and that’s a good thing!”In actuality, her words were quite appropriate ones. I allowed them to continually resonate through my mind and I “bucked up!” They helped me to endure the final days of my trip with a little more endurance. Words are so powerful and moms are the best! Her “word crumbs”provided a feast and carried me!

Personalized copies of my books may be purchased by clicking on the home page link of this site or email me at hunterdarden@gmail.com.